That boy question!

I work weekend evenings in a lovely boutique hotel, where I greet people, make them welcome, arranging their drinks and chatting to them.

 The owner is a great friend of mine, and when I came back from my year in Cornwall, son Oli and I went in there for a drink - and I begged ( friend ) Nick to give me something to do to ' keep me off the streets!'
 It's a fabulous job - although Nick refuses to call it that, saying that all I do is drift about chatting and and finding out all the more personal info on the customers.

One of the greatest things that's come out of it though is the being with the young - mainly girls who work there.

Last night was quiet, which gave me the chance to find out why the beautiful intelligent girl I was working with with didn't have a boy in her life.  She's at Uni studying subjects I can barely pronounce, is small slim and has all the things that anyone would think was needed - really the full package.

Quite simply she said that all boys are 'rubbish'  and that she doesn't bother with them anymore because she can't take them seriously or believe what they say.  Obviously a sweeping statement and it can't be true of all of them, but....

 There are so many things boys want to be. Its important to be 'cool' and  'hot'. To lose face in front  of their friends would be unthinkable, and with everything these days being accessible to all, there is no reason for any boy to think ' well I can't have that or be like that'.

 TV is full of beautiful young things living out the dream - which we all must know in reality is not the case.  But young people are more naive, and get carried away believing all they see.  So taking this on board, and remembering that boys are about 8 years younger in their heads than the majority of girls, its easy to see why they behave as they do.

There are plenty of  boys in bits at night, thinking they've done it/ got it wrong..but being boys, they cannot possibly admit that - having to keep up the ' cool' image. So hard really, and when you think of it that way, it sort of explains why they screw up,  and you have to feel sorry for them. 

To be honest with a girl, and to make that call or send that text would put a young guy in a different catagory from his peer group.  He would have to be pretty brave to step outside of what's ' cool' - and then ' horror of horrors' that girl might suddenly, go off him - not only hurting him, but making him the laughing stock of all his mates....well would be the end!

All of this is me generalizing, and there are obviously exception.  With age all of these  boys I'm referring to  will grow up and have proper relationships,  and actually, the fact that they have been allowed all the time to do this, they will make much lovelier partners.

So spend time being happy with your friends is what I would say.  Know there's nothing wrong with you.  Laugh rather than get upset.  You wouldn't expect anything from these boys if they were in dressed in short trousers with a school bag over their shoulder, so the fact they look beautiful is only because their bodies have got there before their heads.

Much love peeps

Janey xx