I'm so fed up! I have spent ages today writing - or attempting to write this! I began this morning whilst still at Binky's place, then drove back here to Sussex, and continued. Finally - Eureka it's done - then I pressed the wrong button and it's gone... somewhere in the ether - and do you think I can find it - NO!
I'm still finding technology tricky, I love the gadgets and have them all, but using them means me having to have a younger person close by to put it right when I inevitably screw up. I know I have my uses - and they're mainly with pots and pans - but still I persevere!
My main reason for wanting to write today is that a friend of mine asked me to mention an event on the 8th December. It's in aid of the charity Centrepoint, which is so relevant this time of year. It's a brilliant evening of tennis at the Royal Albert Hall, and it's called " The Winter Whites Gala' It's got celebs, and legendary tennis masters are playing. Prince William and Kate are going to be attending, and for some people that would rather go to the tennis rather than say - a ballet or something around Christmas it would be perfect! The link is - www.winterwhitesgala.com. There we are - done, phew...burned jacket potato here I come!
I know everybody has there own way of 'putting something back'. I give small amounts monthly straight from my bank but I don't notice it, and I really don't do much else. I'm always going to of course, but I'm always just so busy...
Last Monday I went to the screening of MIC in London with Binks. I always love going as I get to talk, listen to, and laugh with all the lovely young things there, and being beautifully mannered they always try hard to find some common ground to chat with me on. At the moment being Christmas, it was easy. Many of them, like us are going skiing, and some are just jetting off to the sun to stay with their families abroad.
It's very jolly and uplifting being in company like this, and after a while we all drifted off home, hailing taxi's and deciding to continue the evening back at the house.
I asked the cab driver to stop while one of us dashed into a supermarket for extra supplies, and I got chatting to him. He was saying that he's working over most of the Christmas holiday, but when he's not he's going be a Father Christmas in a children's home. He was laughing about this and saying what a buzz it is as the kids are fab and so and jolly, and - well to cut a long story short it made me feel pretty guilty - which is a feeling I hate!
So now you see why I feel compelled to write this today, despite the fact it's now taken me several hours. I am determined to start putting myself out a bit more. They say you can't teach an old dogs new tricks - but this one is going to start making some more effort, for as my dear old father often said ' be careful love, it doesn't always pass your door'!
Much love peeps. Janey x
Wednesday, 28 November 2012
Thursday, 22 November 2012
The Next Stage..
Living in the country alone, as I do, I often lie awake at night wondering what is going to become of me when I'm older. At the moment I'm fairly lucid, continent, can get around and with the benefit of contacts - see. My hearing is a bit shot, due - according to the 'hearologist' - too much rock music played in the car too loud and for too long periods of time. 'Sweet Child Of Mine' gets me up and running - but I have to be able to 'feel it'!
So my plan is to spend much more time in London. The kids are all there and it makes sense, plus - lovely as the majority of my neighbours are - they don't really 'get' me and this can be very lonely making.
With this in mind I decided to go and do a rekkie... find out whats really going on and what I could do with myself to keep busy, active and interested.
I set off on Sunday with the car rammed to the brim with dogs, clothes, several bags of cosmetics, lunch, and made my way to Binky's place. Coming from London originally, I find the pavements and smell of diesel familiar and strangely comforting.
On arrival, after unloading the car, I made my way straight to the kitchen. I know my place, and love me as she professes, getting the oven on and doing what I do best is a priority in her view.
After a couple of hours the house had filled with lovely young people and lots of food was produced. Everybody sat there chatting and I was thrilled that I had got it right and people were happy. On one of my numerous trips back to the kitchen somebody said that the dishwasher wasn't working properly, and could I look at it. Naturally no problem, I scheduled that in for Monday, and, with the help of a dear friend, washed up by hand.
Monday morning I tiptoed downstairs carefully. I say this because Scrumble, the new addition to the Felstead menagerie is only 11 weeks old - and walking barefoot first thing in the morning should be done with extreme caution. I navigated my way around a minefield of things best not mentioned, to the kettle, noticing en route that the vacuum cleaner was so full it was a wonder it hadn't exploded. I decided to take a look at that later on, after I had 'sprung' the clothes from the washing machine that had been washed last week, and hang them out to dry.
So, the day went on - busily... and I wasn't surprised when Binks - a divine child that says all the things that make me feel valued, asked what was for dinner. Flattered I asked her what she would like, and she said 'whatever' but could I make it quick as she was out tonight, and would I be able to stay in and Scrumble sit. I agreed, because I felt fairly tired by now.
The next day I decided to have a bit of a change of child and go and stay with A-L. She was thrilled because she needed some paintings moved to a gallery the other side of London, and could I help. I naturally agreed, paid my £10 congestion charge, and set off.
East London was busier than I remembered and I didn't get back till late. A-L is a darling, and offered to cook, but never had much in - so could I grab something on the way back from taking the dogs for a walk...yes - of course!
Long story short. I had a wonderful time with the girls and was going to make contact with Oli before leaving, but changed my mind (just in case he had a lot to do!) I thought that maybe I would just slip off home for a bit of R&R and worry another day, when I've got a bit more energy, about what's going to happen to me when I get old. I have a feeling that - unless things change hugely - I know exactly what I'm going to be doing... and it won't be having time to worry!
Janey xx
So my plan is to spend much more time in London. The kids are all there and it makes sense, plus - lovely as the majority of my neighbours are - they don't really 'get' me and this can be very lonely making.
With this in mind I decided to go and do a rekkie... find out whats really going on and what I could do with myself to keep busy, active and interested.
I set off on Sunday with the car rammed to the brim with dogs, clothes, several bags of cosmetics, lunch, and made my way to Binky's place. Coming from London originally, I find the pavements and smell of diesel familiar and strangely comforting.
On arrival, after unloading the car, I made my way straight to the kitchen. I know my place, and love me as she professes, getting the oven on and doing what I do best is a priority in her view.
After a couple of hours the house had filled with lovely young people and lots of food was produced. Everybody sat there chatting and I was thrilled that I had got it right and people were happy. On one of my numerous trips back to the kitchen somebody said that the dishwasher wasn't working properly, and could I look at it. Naturally no problem, I scheduled that in for Monday, and, with the help of a dear friend, washed up by hand.
Monday morning I tiptoed downstairs carefully. I say this because Scrumble, the new addition to the Felstead menagerie is only 11 weeks old - and walking barefoot first thing in the morning should be done with extreme caution. I navigated my way around a minefield of things best not mentioned, to the kettle, noticing en route that the vacuum cleaner was so full it was a wonder it hadn't exploded. I decided to take a look at that later on, after I had 'sprung' the clothes from the washing machine that had been washed last week, and hang them out to dry.
So, the day went on - busily... and I wasn't surprised when Binks - a divine child that says all the things that make me feel valued, asked what was for dinner. Flattered I asked her what she would like, and she said 'whatever' but could I make it quick as she was out tonight, and would I be able to stay in and Scrumble sit. I agreed, because I felt fairly tired by now.
The next day I decided to have a bit of a change of child and go and stay with A-L. She was thrilled because she needed some paintings moved to a gallery the other side of London, and could I help. I naturally agreed, paid my £10 congestion charge, and set off.
East London was busier than I remembered and I didn't get back till late. A-L is a darling, and offered to cook, but never had much in - so could I grab something on the way back from taking the dogs for a walk...yes - of course!
Long story short. I had a wonderful time with the girls and was going to make contact with Oli before leaving, but changed my mind (just in case he had a lot to do!) I thought that maybe I would just slip off home for a bit of R&R and worry another day, when I've got a bit more energy, about what's going to happen to me when I get old. I have a feeling that - unless things change hugely - I know exactly what I'm going to be doing... and it won't be having time to worry!
Janey xx
Saturday, 17 November 2012
That boy question!
I work weekend evenings in a lovely boutique hotel, where I greet people, make them welcome, arranging their drinks and chatting to them.
The owner is a great friend of mine, and when I came back from my year in Cornwall, son Oli and I went in there for a drink - and I begged ( friend ) Nick to give me something to do to ' keep me off the streets!'
It's a fabulous job - although Nick refuses to call it that, saying that all I do is drift about chatting and and finding out all the more personal info on the customers.
One of the greatest things that's come out of it though is the being with the young - mainly girls who work there.
Last night was quiet, which gave me the chance to find out why the beautiful intelligent girl I was working with with didn't have a boy in her life. She's at Uni studying subjects I can barely pronounce, is small slim and has all the things that anyone would think was needed - really the full package.
Quite simply she said that all boys are 'rubbish' and that she doesn't bother with them anymore because she can't take them seriously or believe what they say. Obviously a sweeping statement and it can't be true of all of them, but....
There are so many things boys want to be. Its important to be 'cool' and 'hot'. To lose face in front of their friends would be unthinkable, and with everything these days being accessible to all, there is no reason for any boy to think ' well I can't have that or be like that'.
TV is full of beautiful young things living out the dream - which we all must know in reality is not the case. But young people are more naive, and get carried away believing all they see. So taking this on board, and remembering that boys are about 8 years younger in their heads than the majority of girls, its easy to see why they behave as they do.
There are plenty of boys in bits at night, thinking they've done it/ got it wrong..but being boys, they cannot possibly admit that - having to keep up the ' cool' image. So hard really, and when you think of it that way, it sort of explains why they screw up, and you have to feel sorry for them.
To be honest with a girl, and to make that call or send that text would put a young guy in a different catagory from his peer group. He would have to be pretty brave to step outside of what's ' cool' - and then ' horror of horrors' that girl might suddenly, go off him - not only hurting him, but making him the laughing stock of all his mates....well would be the end!
All of this is me generalizing, and there are obviously exception. With age all of these boys I'm referring to will grow up and have proper relationships, and actually, the fact that they have been allowed all the time to do this, they will make much lovelier partners.
So spend time being happy with your friends is what I would say. Know there's nothing wrong with you. Laugh rather than get upset. You wouldn't expect anything from these boys if they were in dressed in short trousers with a school bag over their shoulder, so the fact they look beautiful is only because their bodies have got there before their heads.
Much love peeps
Janey xx
The owner is a great friend of mine, and when I came back from my year in Cornwall, son Oli and I went in there for a drink - and I begged ( friend ) Nick to give me something to do to ' keep me off the streets!'
It's a fabulous job - although Nick refuses to call it that, saying that all I do is drift about chatting and and finding out all the more personal info on the customers.
One of the greatest things that's come out of it though is the being with the young - mainly girls who work there.
Last night was quiet, which gave me the chance to find out why the beautiful intelligent girl I was working with with didn't have a boy in her life. She's at Uni studying subjects I can barely pronounce, is small slim and has all the things that anyone would think was needed - really the full package.
Quite simply she said that all boys are 'rubbish' and that she doesn't bother with them anymore because she can't take them seriously or believe what they say. Obviously a sweeping statement and it can't be true of all of them, but....
There are so many things boys want to be. Its important to be 'cool' and 'hot'. To lose face in front of their friends would be unthinkable, and with everything these days being accessible to all, there is no reason for any boy to think ' well I can't have that or be like that'.
TV is full of beautiful young things living out the dream - which we all must know in reality is not the case. But young people are more naive, and get carried away believing all they see. So taking this on board, and remembering that boys are about 8 years younger in their heads than the majority of girls, its easy to see why they behave as they do.
There are plenty of boys in bits at night, thinking they've done it/ got it wrong..but being boys, they cannot possibly admit that - having to keep up the ' cool' image. So hard really, and when you think of it that way, it sort of explains why they screw up, and you have to feel sorry for them.
To be honest with a girl, and to make that call or send that text would put a young guy in a different catagory from his peer group. He would have to be pretty brave to step outside of what's ' cool' - and then ' horror of horrors' that girl might suddenly, go off him - not only hurting him, but making him the laughing stock of all his mates....well would be the end!
All of this is me generalizing, and there are obviously exception. With age all of these boys I'm referring to will grow up and have proper relationships, and actually, the fact that they have been allowed all the time to do this, they will make much lovelier partners.
So spend time being happy with your friends is what I would say. Know there's nothing wrong with you. Laugh rather than get upset. You wouldn't expect anything from these boys if they were in dressed in short trousers with a school bag over their shoulder, so the fact they look beautiful is only because their bodies have got there before their heads.
Much love peeps
Janey xx
Friday, 16 November 2012
Another day on
Loving this blog malarky!
Sitting in bed with Ted snoring gently, and the vague smell of fox poo wafting over the duvet, it gives me the opportunity - before giving into sleep - to chat away and clear my head of all the stuff of the day.
I went up to London to meet the kids and have some lunch. I had a vague feeling that something was afoot, as my eldest daughter A-L had gone very quiet - and finding out why was the real purpose of the trip.
I was prepared for some resistance when I began interrogating her, thinking that I would have to use my best technique and possibly bribery, but in fact she was quite open about it and told me she's ( considering ) moving to New York.
Now obviously I want my kids to be happy, but if I'm honest, I really do wish they could be happy here, close to me. This can't always the case of course as people must do there own thing and be independent and adventurous, but still it was painful to hear.
Thankfully Binks and Oli were being as daft as always which gave me the chance to recover, and by the time we'd finished and I'd paid all had returned to normal.... me paying being the most normal!
Driving back to Sussex last night, and thinking about all this stuff, I decided to drop into a old mate, who's life isn't in any way as easy as mine. I sat at her table while she poured me a glass of vino, and watched her prepare stuff for her B&B's. I told her about the A-L stuff, and her immediate reaction was - bloody marvellous! - you are SO lucky! you'll be able to go and stay with her and go to fabulous places, and not have to do a stroke of work.
So typical! not only do I feel sad - I now feel guilty as well! But I suppose its done me good. Just shows that even when you get to my age there's still some learning to do. When I do go out there, I may just insist the old friend comes too, and then A-L can look after the both of us!
Sweet dreams
Janey x
Sitting in bed with Ted snoring gently, and the vague smell of fox poo wafting over the duvet, it gives me the opportunity - before giving into sleep - to chat away and clear my head of all the stuff of the day.
I went up to London to meet the kids and have some lunch. I had a vague feeling that something was afoot, as my eldest daughter A-L had gone very quiet - and finding out why was the real purpose of the trip.
I was prepared for some resistance when I began interrogating her, thinking that I would have to use my best technique and possibly bribery, but in fact she was quite open about it and told me she's ( considering ) moving to New York.
Now obviously I want my kids to be happy, but if I'm honest, I really do wish they could be happy here, close to me. This can't always the case of course as people must do there own thing and be independent and adventurous, but still it was painful to hear.
Thankfully Binks and Oli were being as daft as always which gave me the chance to recover, and by the time we'd finished and I'd paid all had returned to normal.... me paying being the most normal!
Driving back to Sussex last night, and thinking about all this stuff, I decided to drop into a old mate, who's life isn't in any way as easy as mine. I sat at her table while she poured me a glass of vino, and watched her prepare stuff for her B&B's. I told her about the A-L stuff, and her immediate reaction was - bloody marvellous! - you are SO lucky! you'll be able to go and stay with her and go to fabulous places, and not have to do a stroke of work.
So typical! not only do I feel sad - I now feel guilty as well! But I suppose its done me good. Just shows that even when you get to my age there's still some learning to do. When I do go out there, I may just insist the old friend comes too, and then A-L can look after the both of us!
Sweet dreams
Janey x
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
The beginning...
Well, it was after last nights Made In Chelsea that I decided to write a blog!
I was filmed listening to my darling daughter Binky telling me how she had felt let down, confused, and personally lacking... in a relationship that never actually started! I told her my view... we had a drink, went home and forgot all about it.
When the episode aired, I received many tweets from the viewers ( mostly gorgeous young things - some I'm sure, gorgeous old things ) saying that they had loved the programme, and would I start a blog so's we could chat, laugh and get some unbiased advice if they felt like it.
Not being particularly teckie, I had no idea how to begin - but, with the wonderful enthusiasm and generosity of the young, one of the girls said ' just do it and I'll re tweet it, and away you go'
Now I'm a woman of a 'certain age' ( 61 to be precise ) and was brought up to marry and stay at home behaving. Most of this I managed (!) but because of no real outside interests, my three kids became the focus of my life, and their friends close and important.
So now, we shall see. I have pretty strong views on whats correct and what's not, but I have also got a well developed sense of humour and a love and - for some reason, huge rapport with the young, who's company I so much prefer to the boring old people I'm sometimes forced to mix with! If anybody fancies contacting me about anything, it would be a pleasure...
With my love, Janey @mummyfelstead xx
I was filmed listening to my darling daughter Binky telling me how she had felt let down, confused, and personally lacking... in a relationship that never actually started! I told her my view... we had a drink, went home and forgot all about it.
When the episode aired, I received many tweets from the viewers ( mostly gorgeous young things - some I'm sure, gorgeous old things ) saying that they had loved the programme, and would I start a blog so's we could chat, laugh and get some unbiased advice if they felt like it.
Not being particularly teckie, I had no idea how to begin - but, with the wonderful enthusiasm and generosity of the young, one of the girls said ' just do it and I'll re tweet it, and away you go'
Now I'm a woman of a 'certain age' ( 61 to be precise ) and was brought up to marry and stay at home behaving. Most of this I managed (!) but because of no real outside interests, my three kids became the focus of my life, and their friends close and important.
So now, we shall see. I have pretty strong views on whats correct and what's not, but I have also got a well developed sense of humour and a love and - for some reason, huge rapport with the young, who's company I so much prefer to the boring old people I'm sometimes forced to mix with! If anybody fancies contacting me about anything, it would be a pleasure...
With my love, Janey @mummyfelstead xx
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